The Ultimate Guide to Owning the Oxford English Dictionary 20-Volume Set
Buying the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary means having the entire English language in your living room! The only downside is that it’s so heavy that it takes a real man just to lift it, and if you’ve bought the OED, you are assuredly not. The paper quality is top-notch, great for those Tuesday nights when you’re feeling fancy and want to read the definition of “bourgeoisie” while sipping on your Romanée-Conti Grand Cru, even if you just use it to settle arguments with your roommate about the proper pronunciation of “gif.” This set is highly recommend to anyone who has a lot of bookshelf space, enjoys the sound of pages turning, wants to make their guests feel intellectually inferior — and has lots and lots of money to flaunt on ridiculous things like 20-volume dictionaries. You’ve tried all the other dictionaries — now try the best!
After we get the most important question out of the way, read on for the most best reasons you should buy your very own 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary (OED).
How much is the Oxford English Dictionary (OED)?
Ah, that’s what you really want to know, isn’t it? It’s rude to talk money but we’ll do it anyway. The 20-volume print edition of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) is listed on the Oxford University Press website for a cool $1,200.00 USD. If that doesn’t seem like a whole lot of money to you, well, then, fuck you. The OED is so expensive that it’s easier to create a new language and write your own dictionary than it is to purchase it. You could sell a kidney to afford it, but at least you’d be able to look up all the words all your doctors will be using. It’s still way cheaper than college tho! That’s the full retail sticker price tho. Maybe you’ll have better luck elsewhere.
Click on the shoes to buy the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary!
The OED’s comprehensive coverage is a linguistic safari!
At 20 volumes, the big-ass Oxford English Dictionary (OED) is considered perhaps the most authoritative English-language dictionaries, containing over 600,000 words and phrases (but maybe not including updawg and bofa deez nuts), with detailed etymologies and historical definitions. It’s so comprehensive that reading it is like going on a linguistic adventure through the dense forest of the English language, with each page revealing a new species of word that you never knew existed. It’s the ultimate dictionary safari, where you’ll encounter everything from archaic words that only you and Shakespeare himself would use, to modern slang that your teenage kids will roll their eyes at and lose respect over you for. In fact, the OED is so all-encompassing that it may even include words from languages that haven’t even been invented yet! So if you’re looking for a dictionary that covers every nook and cranny of the English language, the 20-volume OED is the way to go. If you need some assistance reading all 20 volumes in one sitting, we do not recommend you use cocaine.
The OED contains historical depth!
The OED captures the evolution of the English language, reflecting the cultural, social, and technological changes of the past and present. It is also known for including literary quotations that illustrate the usage of words in context, providing a glimpse into the literary and cultural history of the English-speaking world dating back over 1,000 years, making it an invaluable resource for research papers that your professor might skim, but no one else will read. The OED is like a time machine, transporting you back to the origins of the English language and giving you a front-row seat to the evolution of obscure words you’ll look for reasons to use to make people you’re smarter than you are. Just be careful not to get lost in a linguistic Phillip K. Dick-like rabbit hole — or you might end up learning something and then telling someone else about it and then getting the shit kicked out of you for being a dork.
The OED is more authoritative than your God!
The OED is regularly updated and revised by a crackerjack team of expert lexicographers to ensure that it remains the most accurate and up-to-date English-language dictionary. All of the definitions are guaranteed to apply to the word you are looking up. In fact, the OED is so authoritative that it makes the American bald eagle look like a half-digested poisoned rat found in the dead body of an American bald eagle. It’s like having the voice of God on your bookshelf, but instead of peace and and love and wisdom, you get the correct spelling and pronunciation of “your” and “mom.”
Owning the OED means you’re smarter than everyone else!
It’s true! Owning the OED can be personally enriching as it can help you learn new words, explore the history of the English language, and deepen your understanding of English literature and culture. And it’s not just a dictionary — it’s also a status symbol! Whenever you have guests over, be sure to casually mention that you own the full 20-volume set of the Oxford English Dictionary and how much you paid for it and see if their eyes widen in awe. A few minutes later, after they leave, just flip through a few pages of the OED and suddenly you’ll feel like an Ivy League genius, but a real one from back when graduating the Ivy League actually meant you were smart and not because your parents have money. The only drawback is that suddenly the words of Ernest Hemingway and Virginia Woolf and F. Scott Fitzgerald will start appearing too basic for you.
The Oxford English Dictionary and an assuring sense of security
Let’s not forget the added benefit of the OED as a self-defense tool. No, silly, we’re not talking about it helping you sharpen your wit. The sheer weight and size of the 20-volume set make it an excellent option for beating up people who want to beat you up for owning one. Holding a sturdy volume with both hands will surely give a solid smack to the head of a strictly hypothetical attacker of yours. Plus, if you’re ever stranded on a deserted island, the OED will provide enough kindling to keep a good fire going for maybe days. It’s a language encyclopedia, one that can keep you warm, literally, in addition to that comforting warm glow of linguistic superiority.
What if I just want one volume, like Joey in that episode of Friends?
Perhaps eBay or your local thrift store or Penn Jillette will sell or give you just one single volume of the Oxford English Dictionary, but it’s not clear if the OED sells lone volumes individually. You may be S.O.L. in that regard. But all is not lost! Fortunately, the good folks at Oxford do not discriminate against the United States and publish an American version that smushes and condenses all that juicy OED knowledge into 928 pages of the Pocket Oxford American Dictionary & Thesaurus. It’s far far far cheaper than the 20-volume OED, and if you pay more than what Joey gave Penn Jillette, you’re getting ripped off.
Click on the book cover to buy the Pocket Oxford American Dictionary & Thesaurus!
Final thoughts on the Oxford English Dictionary
In short, the OED is not just a dictionary, it’s a lifestyle based on a cultural icon. Owning the 20-volume set is like having your own personal piece of literary history that you can show off to the very few people in your life that could possibly interested in such a thing. It will make you smarter, potentially more interesting to a certain subset of the population, and about a thousand bucks poorer. So what are you waiting for! Invest in the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary (OED) and watch your life change for the better. Plus it makes a great doorstop. 20 of them, actually!
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